The New You Didn't Know You Needed
The New You Didn't Know You Needed
When the stuckness unsticks, what's underneath?
Well friends, we’re finally here: the Pre-Autumn Reset.
**before I go on, make sure you read til the end! there’s some stuff changing here in the WANT universe that involves you and I want you to be in the know :)**
Here in NYC, we call this time of year Second Summer. It’s what comes right after False Fall (which comes right after Hell’s Front Porch), and right before Actual Fall. The weather, in its seeming unpredictability, follows some pretty predictable rhythms. Chaotic, sure, but predictable.
It looks like this:
But this time of year has always felt less meteorologically/barometrically seasonal to me, and more mentally/emotionally seasonal.
Unlike the other kids I knew, I always looked forward to the first day of school. I might have had a mini meltdown before starting my senior year of high school (first and lasts always get me), but even those years when I switched schools and had to find all new friends, all that ever bubbled up was excitement and enthusiasm.
Maybe it was my naiveté, maybe it was my upbringing, maybe it was just my personality. But there was something about backpack shopping, picking out my outfits, and poring over the introductory paperwork all the students at my schools were sent pre- Day One that made my heart so very happy. The impending challenges of a new grade — or in some cases, a new school altogether — never really entered my head. “Back To School season” was the BEST season of the year.
All of that to say: I have ALWAYS loved clear moments of transition.
It doesn't matter how old you are or how long it's been since you held a No. 2 pencil in your hand: for most former-kids, September will forever be synonymous with "Back To School." The seasonal shift from Summer to Pre-Autumn to full-on-FALL signals that something new's afoot: new friends, new challenges, new tests, and new teachers. We prepare for a new start, hope for positive change, and cross our fingers that we’ll be able to handle what life dishes out in the coming months.
In the last few years, I’ve started to refer to this time as the Pre-Autumn Reset. It’s that period of time between summer and Fall when you can FEEL the change in the air, year after year. It’s when any sort of stuckness from not just the summer, but the year so far, starts to feel like it’s finally unsticking. January can be awesome, but for me personally (and pretty much everyone I talk to about this), September is when the real momentum picks up and carries us forward.
This is the first September in a very long time where I haven’t something very huge I’m prepping for:
From 2018 to 2020, September marked the time of year that literary agents were back on the grid. During those three years, each September would involve a refresh of my book ideas and all my public-facing platforms with my fingers crossed that someone would want to take a chance on an unknown author
In September 2021 my dream of an agent and I were just about to take my book proposal out to publishers, so I was busy wrapping everything up in a bow and preparing for those meetings.
In September 2022, I turned in my first draft of WANT YOUR SELF and awaited my very first edits.
And in September 2023, I was preparing to launch my debut book the very next month.
I’ve been laser-focused on a singular goal for SIX Septembers.
Now that that goal is achieved, I’m in a new phase of life…and my Pre-Autumn Reset looks much different than it has in over half a decade.
I don’t know what YOUR life has looked like these past few years, but I know that to me, this year’s Pre-Autumn feels less like a “reload” or “refresh” and more like a full-on Factory Reset.
Like wiping the slate clean, keeping the essentials, and rebuilding your command center from scratch.
This NEW is a NEW I didn’t know I needed.
If you’re feeling the same way I do…
…here are some questions I’m asking myself lately that maybe you’ll want to ask yourself too:
What is the big-picture vision I have for my work and my life, now that I know I can (and did!) achieve big things that take a lot of time?
Who can I look up to who is doing the REAL work — not just what’s trendy, popular, or the easy way out?
This is MY life, no one else's. So what am I doing to honor it? What about my life is unique? How can I make sure it stays unique? And, if I get distracted by what others are doing, how can I redirect my focus?
What things are the most important to do each day, and how can I get them done while avoiding "routine addiction” — that feeling of being SO tied to my routines that they create more anxiety and rigidity than usefulness?
What practices are sustainable for me, and how can I keep myself nimble enough to pivot if necessary?
(Shameless plug: If you like these questions, I cannot recommend The WANT Community enough)
While January usually gets all the attention when it comes to resolutions, I’d like to argue that September holds just as much promise as the 01/01 mark.
Pre-Autumn (and then into Fall) is the perfect time to evaluate where you’ve been, where you’re at, and where you’re going. It’s a time to bring back that childlike enthusiasm, relentless joy, and maybe even those first-day jitters you had as a kid (because all worthwhile and exciting changes in life bring up first-day jitters, really).
This month — and this Fall in general — I encourage you to look at what’s worked, what hasn’t, and what your heart truly desires in this moment.
Maybe you’ve been skimping on self care, and fitting in a 15 minute sweat before work is just what you need. Maybe you’ve been so wrapped up in work that your social life isn’t what you’d like it to be, so you put a note in your calendar to call a friend you haven’t checked in on in a while once every Tuesday. Evaluate what you’ve accomplished this year so far, and how you want to feel moving forward.
It's called "Fall" for a reason: just like the leaves fall away from their branches so the tree can begin its process of renewal, we too can let our old energy-suckers fall off our backs to make way for this new season of growth.
And if you’re starting to see Halloween and (gasp!) Christmas decorations pop up at your local Target, take a beat and take a breath. We've got four whole months — a THIRD!! — of the year left. That’s the same amount of time as January 2024 through April 2024. Think about those months: you did so much during that SAME time period earlier this year. Less if you take February's weird dates into account. You have so! much! time left!! It's all about what you do with it.
Yes, of course there will be challenges in the coming months, and the newness of Fall and Winter will bring all kinds of highs and lows you could never have predicted. But if you shift your perspective to refocus your mind, refresh your heart, and renew your commitments, there’s no telling what kind of magic the rest of this year has in store.
Pick out your outfit, grab your backpack, and let’s get on this schoolbus together.
WANT NEWS: NEW RHYTHM ALERT!
So, all of this Pre-Autumn Reset has gotten me thinking about WANT and what I want (ha) to do with it moving forward. Not just what I want to do with it, but how I hope you’ll interact with it, and how I want it to support you.
Meaning, this newsletter is getting a major refresh.
I’ve realized that what feels best is going back to our roots as a multifaceted, multimedia platform to help you shift your negative self-talk.
I’ve really been leaning into the essay format for the last couple years, and while those will still exist, I want to give you something hyper-specific to look forward to each week, besides just me rambling about a topic de jour :)
Instead of once a month, you’ll now be receiving a new issue of WANT every WEEK (with one week off if there are 5 weeks in the month). We’ll have a few breaks throughout the year due to holidays, life lifeing, etc — but I’m so excited to have this kind of regularity again, which we haven’t in YEARS!
Here is what our calendar will look like:
WEEK 1: TIPS, TOOLS, MOTIVATION, + INSPIRATION
…to shift your self-talk, straight from moi.
WEEK 2: TALKING SHIFT
Our new interview series on WANT connecting you with artists, activists, founders, CEOs, and all-around badasses who inspire me to make shift happen in my life…and who I think will inspire you to do the same.
WEEK 3: GROUP CHAT
Our new discussion thread series generated by YOU. I’ll ask a question, and we’ll meet in the commets to talk it out and get advice, recs, and info from one another
WEEK 4: SOME GOOD WORDS
A link roundup of things to watch, read, listen to, try out that I’m loving (or have been recommended repeatedly in the Group Chat!).
And of course, any updates on events or happenings I think you NEED to know about!
The vast majority of this will be (and remain) FREE 🎉🎉🎉 For now, The WANT Community and Some Good Words will be the only segments that are for Paid subscribers only. I want to keep this space as ad/sponsor-free (or at least ad/sponsor-minimal!) for as long as I can, and every single Paid subscriptions helps me do that. So, THANK YOU for helping me keep WANT going without all that stuff! I do not take that lightly — so I want all you Paid subscribers to have access to something just for you, as a show of gratitude. If you’re not yet a Paid subscriber, now is a great time to join us:
And, file this under “good to know”: Substack has a great Settings feature where you can choose which sections you want to get emails from, all without changing your subscription. Which is pretty amazing, since in Ye Olden Days you either subscribed to the whole thing or nothing at all. If you ever want to change which sections/weeks you receive or not (i.e. maybe you only want GROUP CHAT, and that’s totally fine!), here is a VERY helpful tutorial on how to control which sections you subscribe to and which you don’t so that you don’t miss out on what you love. I took a screenshot in case that’s more helpful:
I’m so excited about this and hope you will be too :)
See you next week for our very first TALKING SHIFT!
xoxoxoxo
This question is GOLD: "This is MY life, no one else's. So what am I doing to honor it? What about my life is unique? How can I make sure it stays unique? And, if I get distracted by what others are doing, how can I redirect my focus?"
And I will be pondering it all week on my early morning rambles...Thank you. 💜